


Love makes me stupid (not that I care)

by kenmaken



Category: Pocket Monsters SPECIAL | Pokemon Adventures, Pocket Monsters | Pokemon - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Angst with a Happy Ending, Childhood Friends, F/M, Fluff and Angst, How Do I Tag, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Silver-centered, THEY'RE DORKS, Yellow is a Blessing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-14
Updated: 2016-07-14
Packaged: 2018-07-23 23:53:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,657
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7484844
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kenmaken/pseuds/kenmaken
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Silver, you fucking idiot! Why didn’t you tell me?”<br/>“Tell you what.”<br/>“That you are in love with me, obviously,” he says it with a hint of pride that Silver finds stupid. Pride of what? Finding out that his best friend is very gay for him? Woah, amazing.</p><p>(or: the au where Silver and Gold are super pals --then they aren't and Silver thinks that love makes people the dumbest shit ever.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Love makes me stupid (not that I care)

**Author's Note:**

> soooo, first fic totally written in English woah, I feel so awkward doing this. Redacting in English is so hard when you speak Spanish, man, like my search history is full with stuff like “how to write pretty in English” and that sucks a lot.
> 
> it isn’t corrected by a beta so it’s probably very shitty but idk.

Gold and Silver are best friends since Gold kicked a soccer ball towards Silver’s face when they were in third grade.

Silver had to use a patch on his forehead for a whole week until Gold apologized after his mom scolded him for being a bad kid; Silver remembers how his brows furrowed at Gold, who had his hands in his pockets and didn’t make eye contact with the other boy.

Silver says, “You’re an idiot.”

“Thanks. Wanna play something?” Gold answers, flashing a half-toothed smile.

“Sure.”

Back then, friendship was weird.

 

* * *

 

Silver watches Gold and rolls his eyes when he sees him doing something stupid or making silly faces while he thinks Silver isn’t paying attention.

When he travels with his sister to Tokyo, he makes sure to go to the shopping district, just to get Gold his favorite manga and the CD of a band Gold loves but Silver doesn’t.

He also plays basketball with him, even though Silver hates sports and getting all sweaty.

Blue says something about Silver being an awesome friend, and implies other stuff Silver doesn’t bother listening to.

He lies down, instead, on the bed, reading a magazine about science −and Gold maybe is a bit right about the redhead being a giant nerd− with the croaking of the frogs outside of the house and the fireflies tapping the crystal of the windows.

(Silver and Gold tell everything to each other. Then, they don’t.)

 

* * *

 

Gold does a lot of things, but Silver doesn’t know what they are.

He wonders: when they stopped talking about everything and now they talk about nothing?

Friendship is hard −it changes too much to Silver’s liking.

He has lunch with Blue while Gold does what he needs to do (and he says every time that it’s “ _super important and urgent and **absolutely** necessary_ ”), ignoring the questions his sister does when she isn’t talking about the pretty guy with green eyes she met at the coffee shop.

Silver feels so stressed about Gold and all the secretiveness surrounding him, that he actually asks Blue to keep talking about the pretty guy with green eyes that works at the coffee shop.

 

* * *

 

Then, when they’re lying on the grass of the garden in Silver’s house, Gold tells him that he’s in love with a girl that screams a lot.

Silver stays there, frozen, without knowing what to say and trying to pay no attention to the ache that blooms in his stomach −or maybe it’s his heart. He isn’t exactly sure of the difference between aches.

His world collapses a little more.

The whole situation drags him back to when he’s five years old and Blue whispers that they won’t see mom again.

(He doesn’t say anything, though. Silver is too proud for that.)

 

* * *

 

Watching at the ceiling of his room like it’s the most interesting thing in the world, he realizes that he’s maybe too in love with his best friend, and that’s the reason behind the weird aches and the primitive feeling he gets in his gut every time Gold talks about Crystal.

So, yeah, he likes his best friend.

(Said best friend is very heterosexual.)

He comments it to his sister −she’s like the mom they lost too soon and Silver is sure she’s proud of that.

Blue gives him a sympathetic smile and rubs his back when she sees the tears appearing on her little brother’s eyes.

“It’s okay, Sil, don’t worry. Big sis is here for you.”

 

* * *

 

Gold stops chattering about mangas, CD’s he doesn’t have, basketball and soccer.

Instead of that, he talks about Crystal: Crystal and her new earrings. Crystal and her interesting book (Silver frowns, because he tried for a long time to make Gold read, failing miserably, but he doesn’t mention it). Crystal and her blue pigtails (which are gigantic and don’t follow the rules of the physics). Crystal and her « _Gold!’s_ ». Crystal and her pretty smile with cherry flavored lipstick.

“I’m feeling horrible,” he mumbles, and Silver knows he isn’t being listened to. His words are buried under dozens of comments about how cute is the assistant of the Professor Elm.

Silver is tired.

 

* * *

 

Silver starts avoiding Gold −he sits with a book, hiding in the shadow of a tree, or in the library, where, he’s sure, Gold will never find him.

When Gold approaches ready to tell more things to Silver, who’s supposed to be his best friend, he flees.

(Because he’s a coward, and a weirdo, and he shouldn’t feel the way he feels, and everything he does is _wrong_.)

 

* * *

 

Eventually, Gold doesn’t search for him anymore.

By then, Silver is fifteen and keeps his red hair short because it’s a bother to brush it every morning.

Yellow (a senpai who is, surprisingly, older than him even when she doesn’t look her age) tells him while they’re sitting in the stairs that Gold and Crystal are officially dating, humming later a pop song she probably heard on the radio under her breath.

He wants to _not_ be affected by it −but it does affect him, and he wants to curl on the floor, crying like the little boy who lost his mother.

Silver doesn’t. However, when they have P.E he runs with all his might, kicks the ball as hard as he can, and jumps higher than everyone else (even Janine, who’s offended by it and says that her father is way too better than Silver).

He feels better doing that −distracting himself and keeping his thoughts away from Gold and his amazing girlfriend.

The P.E teacher asks him if he got possessed by the spirit of a gym addict, but Silver shrugs, not wanting to answer, and the teacher leaves him, patting his back softly.

 

* * *

 

It’s been almost two years since he talked to Gold for the last time −he thinks, walking outside of the school. He also thinks that college seems hard and smiles at the memory of Yellow having a breakdown because of the tests she has to do.

And, as if he had been invoked by Silver’s thoughts, Gold runs into him and smiles when he recognizes the red hair and the icy silver eyes that glared at him so many times in the past.

(Silver’s chest does this weird little thing and he wonders if he has heart problems, because that shouldn’t be okay. He has to ask Blue later.)

“Silver, dude, I missed you so much!” And Gold gives him the brightest smile Silver has ever seen in his whole life.

 

* * *

 

They sit on the couch of Gold’s house and start talking again −Silver feels nostalgic as they play videogames and scream to each other vulgarities until Gold’s mom scolds them.

Gold still talks about Crystal, but seems more interested in knowing what the fuck −a spoon comes out from the kitchen and hits the taller guy in his head, followed by a short “language!”− happened to his best friend in the time they weren’t in contact.

Silver doesn’t know what to tell him.

Maybe he’s emotionally constipated.

 

* * *

 

Blue whines loudly, because she spent weeks asking the pretty boy with green eyes to go out with her, just to realize that the little blond girl who always sleeps on the counter, snoring like a kitten, is his childhood friend and _girlfriend_.

Silver nods, absently, tapping his fingers against the cover of a manga that Gold lend him, with his brows furrowed in concentration.

His sister snorts and laughs, then, attracting effectively Silver’s attention.

“What?” He asks, mildly bothered by the interruption.

“You’re so in love, Sil.”

“Shut up, Nee-san,” he doesn’t deny it.

 

* * *

 

Tokyo is a good place to hang out −they buy magazines and discuss about mangas while they eat junk food, because that’s what teenagers do.

Silver is okay −he has control over the situation and he’s comfortable with it, so there’s not problem.

Until they see a couple of guys, kissing in the train station, and Gold thinks something between the lines of « _disgusting_ » and « _I want to go, Sil_ » (he knows it because of his expression. Gold is really easy to read). On the other hand, Silver wishes to be in that place with Gold −he’s cheesy and in love. People in love are dumb.

( _Love makes you the dumbest shit ever_ , Silver learns at his seventeen years, letting out a puff.)

 “I can’t believe they’re doing that here. I don’t understand who would like someone of their same gender. I mean, _how_ , dude?” Gold murmurs next to Silver, and Silver’s stomach goes down, down and _down_.

It shouldn’t be possible to feel _that_ bad.

Silver doesn’t think, (because love turns your brain into shit with flower fragrance).

“Well me, for example,” he blurts and a wave of regret instantly shakes him to the core. Gold’s perplexed face is enough to frighten him and Silver feels his skin turning paler with every second.

_He’s so **screwed** , man.                                   _

“What? Silver, are you serious?” Gold asks, sounding desperate. However, Silver is already running to the train that is about to go, and the red haired boy stays silent, too scared to even face his best friend in the whole world.

He enters to the train and goes back to the town, with the sensation that he just destroyed this eternal friendship with his stupid, _stupid_ crush.

 

* * *

 

Gold calls him forty seven times.

Gold knocks on the door one hundred and sixty eight times.

Gold screams his name from the street where Silver lives ninety one times.

Silver doesn’t pick up the phone. Silver ignores the constant tapping on the door. Silver closes the curtains and hides behind them.

Blue is travelling with a few friends to the north. It’s a shame.

Fortunately, Yellow saves the day and comes with soda, fritters, mangas, videogames and her cat, Chuchu, as well as the stuff she needs to study for her own tests, because Yellow goes to college this year and is really stressed out about it.

“You should stop ignoring him,” she says, chewing one of the marshmallows she got out of the bag full of those, writing nonstop in a notebook with her glasses slipping down the bridge of her nose, “he’s driving me crazy, honestly.”

A few hours later, however, Yellow tells him that stuff like that usually happens in close friendships and that it’s perfectly okay to be nervous about it, whispering later that Gold the other day followed her to the library and poked her ribs until she _exploded_.

It sounds reasonable, if not because she drank three cups of coffee mixed with two cans of RedBull and half pot of sugar, just to keep herself awake, when she tells Silver that, so he prefers to not pay her any attention until her body gets free of caffeine.

He wonders how there’s such an insane amount of caffeine in a body that barely reaches his shoulder.

 

* * *

 

A week after that, Gold stomps into Silver’s house. Blue is still on vacations with her friends (she says that she doesn’t have to worry about school anymore. It makes sense, since she’s going to be on charge of the bakery their dad owns) and Yellow is probably having a mental breakdown somewhere.

Silver barely has time to react before Gold screams to him, visibly angry.

“Silver, you _fucking_ idiot! Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Tell you _what_.”

“That you are in love with me, obviously,” he says it with a hint of pride that Silver finds stupid. Pride of _what_? Finding out that his best friend is very gay for _him_? Woah, amazing.

“It was Yellow, right?”

“Yup, she had been caffeine-free for three days and told me everything when I bought her a cup of coffee when her boyfriend wasn’t looking. She also gave me the key she has for emergencies.”

“Oh.”

“Seriously, why you didn’t say anything?”

“You weren’t making it easy.”

“What?” Gold’s brows furrow as he asks, and Silver thinks it’s kind of cute, even for Gold.

“You’ve been dating Crystal for three years and you made sure of remind me that every day.”

“Oh, God, I sound like an asshole. I didn’t mean that.”

“I know, and you’re, in fact, an asshole.”

“I mean, for how long, Silver?”

While Silver is sitting at the little sofa, Gold is on the biggest one in the living room, probably resisting the urge of putting his feet over the coffee table, as he did when he used to come in the past.

Silver’s fingers tap his leg, nervously, feeling the tip of his ears slowly turning red because of the embarrassment.

“Since the beginning of middle school, maybe.”

“Oh, _fucking God_ , Silver! People say something when stuff like that is happening! I would have listened!”

“The problem is that I _did_ tell you,” Silver’s heartbeat is too fast and his stomach is a mess. The hands are trembling and the smile he wanted to be sardonic, it’s sad, and he hates it so _much_ , “but you were talking about Crystal all day.”

“Ah.”

“Yeah, so I decided to not talk to you anymore−”

“That was on purpose?!”

“−and I still felt like shit, so I started playing sports to keep me busy.”

“You hated sports!”

“Exactly. Then, we started being best friends again and you were still dating Crystal _and_ I didn’t want to fuck up everything. Well, that was before the Tokyo-thing happened, so…”

“Silver, about the thing I said that time−”

“Don’t try to lie, Gold. I know I’m disgusting, so it’s okay.”

“No, Silver, it’s not fucking okay!” Gold yells, an angry blush on his face. Silver can’t recall another memory of Gold like this.

Gold’s mom would be so disappointed of her son.

“I saw your face;” Silver’s smile turns softer and sadder, “you thought it was repulsive.”

“Ok, _maybe_ I did, but it was _them_ , not you! Do you know how awkward was to see two guys kissing? A _lot_ , dude, but if it’s you, then I’m okay with that, because you’re Silver, and you’re awesome and my best friend, even if you like dicks.”

Silver laughs a bit, putting his hands on his knees, “Wow, that was the cheesiest thing I heard in my whole life. I accept your apologize, though. The neighbors are complaining a lot about you.”

Gold runs a hand through his charcoal hair, looking a lot more relieved.

“Hey,” Gold mumbles, evading Silver’s face, like when he kicked the soccer ball all those years ago, “about the first thing, the whole stuff of ‘my best friend is in love with me’, you know?”

Silver tenses, frowning and sinking between the cushions on the sofa, “What?”

“I’ll think about it.”

The redhead feels like throwing up all the food he ate, and he actually does after he closes the door on Gold’s face when the other guy is saying goodbye.

“You’re an ass, Silver!” The gold-eyed boy screams, indignant, outside of the building, and Silver _is_ an ass −but his longtime crush just said he would think about his feelings towards Silver.

That thought makes him sicker, mostly because Crystal doesn’t deserve this. She’s a good person, a lovely girlfriend, a wonderful friend, and Silver is (maybe?) going to destroy her relationship with Gold.

 

* * *

 

They have lunch in the coffee shop that is in the town; Silver orders a sandwich and Gold buys a chocolate cake (because he has sweet tooth and that’s adorable, from Silver’s point of view).

Yellow is sulking while she talks to a guy −Green, Silver remembers− in one of the tables that’s near to the counter of the shop.

Green is the barista that has been Yellow’s best friend since primary school and has been dating her for two years. He’s probably on his break (or he maybe blackmailed the black haired guy that mumbles curses when he’s not attending clients).

Gold reads manga and talks with Silver about the future −college, apartments where to live, and having a pet snake because snakes are _sick_.

He feels like home.

 

* * *

 

A few months have passed since then, and Gold enters to the house with the keys that now belong to him − “ _I hope you don’t enter to make stupid pranks, jerk_ ” − and pays respect in the little altar dedicated to Silver’s mom.

After that, he jumps to the couch, making the furniture crunch and squeak under his weight.

Gold eats too much for a teenager, Silver notices, when he’s searching for mugs in the showcase.

The smell of the coffee extends through the room and Silver smiles softly, his socks making weird noises against the cold ceramic of the floor.

“I stopped thinking a while ago about it and I decided that I really like you,” Gold says, breaking the comfortable silence that was in the house. Silver is grateful that he has good reflexes; otherwise, his favorite mug would be broken on the floor.

“What?”

“Yeah, and you know, I have felt like this for a long time, but I thought it was ‘bro-love’, not actual ‘romantic-and-gay-love’, dude. I don’t know.”

“You’re an idiot.”

“Yup, though you seem touched. I can see your tears from he−”

“Shut the fuck up.”

“Okay, whatever. Would you date me, like, next week?” Gold makes a face, pursing his lips, “I have to break up with Crystal before dating such a perfect creature like you, Sil.”

Silver blushes and feels like a walking tomato, but Gold doesn’t comment it.

“I’m really, _really_ lost at this stuff,” The taller guy continues, propping himself on his elbows, just to look at Silver with a huge grin on his face, “but I guess we can handle it.”

“Ok.”

“Don’t say ‘ok’, you piece of shit!” Gold throws him a cushion and Silver laughs −he had time without laughing that way. The other guy seems pleased with that, “your laugh is gorgeous, dude.”

“Not as much as your face,” Silver blurts and Gold’s face turns a bright shade of red. It feels good to embarrass someone else, instead of being the one who always gets shy at that kind of stuff.

They can get used to this.

 

* * *

 

Crystal seems confused and blinks at Gold, watching Silver with curiosity all over her face, wondering what he is doing here, maybe. Silver doesn’t really know about that. They haven’t talked a lot in all these years, despite of Gold being a constant in both of their lives.

“Gold, what’s going on?” she asks, seeming actually scared of the answer. Gold hesitates, with his hands in his pockets and the baseball cap covering his face from the sunlight.

“We have to break up, Crys.”

She doesn’t intend to, but the tears appear in her eyes anyway. Her lower lip trembles, covered in that cherry flavored lipstick she uses because Gold likes it a lot. Silver notices how Gold’s face turns guiltier with every second.

“Why?” Crystal asks, and the wind moves her frilly skirt and her blue hair. Silver resists the temptation of lending her his jacket. It would be awkward later. Gold gulps soundly and sees Silver briefly from the corner of his eye.

“I love someone else.”

“Who?” she interrogates, again, and then squeezes the fabric of her shirt between her fingers. Silver kinda knows what she’s feeling −she needs information; she doesn’t understand why someone would take Gold away from her, when they were so happy. Were they _that_ happy, actually, or everything was a lie she made to comfort herself?

“It’s a person I really appreciate,” Crystal gets the hint: Gold doesn’t want to talk about it.

Silver hopes she thinks he’s there for damage control, to prevent Gold from fucking up everything.

The lie hurts less than the truth and she’ll have to live with it.

“I see,” Crystal whispers, so low Silver barely hears her, looking at her ballerina shoes, “I guess there’s nothing I can do about it?”

“I’m sorry, Crys.”

“It’s okay, it’s okay! We’re still friends, right?”

“Of course! Like, you’ll be my Super Bro, Crys. Neither Silver has that title!”

“Thank you, um… I have things to do, see you later, guys,” her smile is _so_ sad when she leaves. Silver feels even more guilty than Gold.

(Also, Silver doesn’t have that title anymore, because he’s now «The Best Fucking Broyfriend of All Time».)

(He hates it.)

 

* * *

 

Silver and Gold tell everything; Gold still looks at boobs and butts, but the only butt he gets to touch belongs to the guy he loves, and the only lips he kisses are chapped and rough −they don’t taste like cherry, but like coffee with chocolate and cinnamon and he loves them.

The redhead is busy buying videogames and pretending to not notice the yaoi mangas that are hidden under the bed, putting the DVDs in the shelf they have in the living room of their apartment.

They’re tired and play basketball together anyways, with Silver kicking Gold’s ass when he feels in a good mood.

Instead of a pet snake, they have a cat that receives them when Silver gets back from work −he’s on charge of the new bakery his dad established on Tokyo and it drains him more than he likes to admit− and when Gold returns from college, dragging his feet until he plops on the couch and Silver puts a blanket above him, until is too late and the two of them move to the bed.

 

* * *

 

Silver talks about charcoal hair, pretty smiles and bad jokes; about tanned skin and calloused hands that rub his back during the cold nights; about gold shinning eyes that sparkle unnaturally.

Gold talks about red hair and cute frowns; about bad words, pale skin and chapped lips that are constantly licked; about soft hands that caress his face when it’s five of the morning and run through Gold’s black locks.

(They do a lot of things and they know every one of them.)

**Author's Note:**

> disclaimer: yooo' pokemon special isn't mine, ye.  
> special mention to my smol subordinate, rex, who literally read this through like fifteen photos with a shitty quality. Luv ya’ sweetheart


End file.
